


Vulnerable

by SkylessNights



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Buckle up folks it's gonna be a sad one, Drug Addiction, Emotional Hurt, M/M, References to Drugs, Swearing, angst and hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-19 07:56:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29747382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkylessNights/pseuds/SkylessNights
Summary: Eddie hasn’t been coping well after Shannon’s death, he’s been struggling with feelings of anger over her untimely demise, and found an outlet in drugs to help him get through the pain. Eddie plans to go to Buck’s apartment to steal back the stash he accidentally left the other night but what happens when Buck finds it before him…
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 101





	Vulnerable

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came to mind after I watched a scene from Euphoria, I thought we've seen Eddie be the guy to put on a mask, to suck up and move on. But what if after Shannon's death we clearly see that he is not doing well at all. 
> 
> This is where this fic was born. I hope you enjoy it, let me know what you think in the comments :)

Eddie knew what he had to do, he’d planned this in his head from the drive home to work. It was early in the afternoon so Buck was probably not at his apartment, but if he was-

_Just knock. Sweet Talk. Grab. Then leave._

He combed his fingers through his messy hair, trying to make himself look somewhat presentable before knocking on the door. 

Eddie tapped his fingers against the wall. _What was taking so long?_ He knocked again… nothing. Maybe no-one was home-

Finally the door opened, well, only slightly. 

“Hey,” Eddie said puzzled, narrowing his eyes at the chain lock. “Can I come in?” 

Buck sighed. His eyes scanning Eddie’s messy hair, baggy brown eyes and his stained blue uniform. He shook his head. 

Eddie rubbed the nape of his neck. 

“Look, I just need to grab one of Christopher’s shirts that I think I left here-” 

Buck moved away from the door and returned with a small plastic bag of pills in his hand.

“You mean _this_?”

_Shit!_

Eddie combed his fingers through his hair, biting his lip nervously as he stared at the bag and then back at Buck, who was looking at him like with those sad blue eyes.

“Don’t, don’t look at me like that.” Eddie whispered, lowering his head. 

“Like what” 

“Like I’m someone to pity.” 

“You need help, Eddie.” Buck said softly, “You can’t keep going on like this-”

“Look, Buck, I appreciate your concern. I really do but just give me the bag, okay?

“No.”

“Buck!” His voice raised slightly as he leaned against the wall. “I’ve had a really fucked up week, alright? And an even more fucked up night so please just give me the bag. _Please._ Can you do that? Just give me-” 

He tried to reach out for the pills but Buck stepped back. 

“I’m not going to help you kill yourself, Eddie.” Buck replied, “I’ve seen the inside of those hospitals too many times this past month.”

Eddie closed his eyes, twisting his mouth as he remembered the reason why he was in those hospital beds. 

“I’m sorry,” Buck said, closing the door.

“Don’t. Buck. Don’t close the-”

Eddie let out an exasperated sigh.

“Fuck!” Eddie shouted, pacing back and forth. He combed his fingers through his hair and banging his fist against the door.

“Buck, open the door please.” his breath quickened. “I’m begging you just open the door _._ ”

Eddie leaned against the door, tapping his fingers as he waited for a response but he heard nothing.

“Evan, I can’t sleep,” Eddie admitted, “Ever since she-”

He sighed, clenching his fists. 

“I just can’t sleep, alright? So I need you to open this door and give me the bag. _Please._ ” 

Silence.

“Evan!” He shouted, slamming his fists against the door. 

“You may think you’re this knight in shining armour, always doing the right thing but you aren't, you’re just broken like everyone else. So stop with this stupid act and give me what I need!”

Silence.

“You’re a fucking leech, you know that?” Eddie continued, “Clinging to me and Christopher all these years because you don’t have a family of your own. You suck the joy out of everyone you meet and you wonder why you keep ending up alone.” 

Eddie gathered his breath, watching the door as he waited for a response but still all he heard was silence.

“Open the door!” He yelled.

“Are you doing this because you care about me?” Eddie laughed dryly, “Because if you did you wouldn’t let me suffer like this.” 

Eddie leaned against the wall and stared up towards the heavens.

“I go to work, tired as fuck every day because she haunts my dreams, _she_ won’t let me fucking sleep!” his voice trembled as he glared up towards the ceiling. 

“So open the goddamn door, Evan!” Eddie shouted, slamming his hands against the door.

Silence.

“Open the door!”

“Eddie-”

“Open the door!”

“I’m not going to-”

“Open the door! Open the door! Open the door!” Eddie screamed.

He waited, hoping for a different response but all he got was the same answer… nothing.

Eddie whimpered as he collapsed against the door, allowing his body to slide to the floor. He buried his head in his arms and let the tears he's been holding back for months, finally fall down his cheeks. 

“Why won’t you help me?” He sobbed, pulling at his hair

“If I don’t sleep, I can’t be there for Christopher in the way I need to be.” Eddie sniffled, as he wiped the tears from his eyes. “I’m the only parent he’s got left and I can’t let him down again.” 

“So the least you could do is help and open the goddamn door!” He begged, weakly slamming his hand against the door. 

Silence.

Eddie twisted his lips, nodding his head at the realisation that nothing was going to change. He stood up and ran his fingers through his hair.

Staring at the door for the last time, he sighed in defeat and left. 

Buck waited until he heard the sound of Eddie’s footsteps disappear before sinking to the ground. He clenched the bag of pills in his hand and threw it into the bin across the room. His lips began to quiver and his eyes started to water. But before he could allow the tears to fall he heard someone coming down the stairs.

“Christopher!” Buck said, startled. He wiped his eyes quickly and put a huge grin on his face. “W-what are you doing down here buddy? Are you hungry? Want something to eat?”

Christopher paused, twisting his mouth as if he was deciding on what he was going to say.

“Why was dad angry about the sweets I found under the couch?” 

Buck froze. His eyes were wide now. 

_He heard everything..._


End file.
